Sunday, June 24, 2012

Sex (Mum… Please don’t read this)


I met my husband at a house party in Coogee in March 2008. I took a shine to him immediately. He had a sparkle in his eye that I couldn’t resist, so when I discovered he was single I did my best to flutter my eyelashes and flash my best smile in his direction. Unfortunately he left before I had time to impress him with my charm, wit and charisma. And modesty. Always forget about the modesty.

The next day he was in my head. Every time my mind wandered, there he was. His cheeky smile, his deep brown eyes… his shiny head (I’d never fancied a baldy before). And so, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I figured I had nothing to lose… so I asked him out. I sent him a carefully crafted message and hoped he would remember me. How could he not?

The following weekend we went on our first date. We met at the Sydney Opera Bar, which is a pretty spectacular place to get amorous. Especially when you’re full of bubbles (of the alcoholic variety) and you’re with a very handsome man, and you’re pretty sure he likes you too… 

Tipsy at the Opera Bar
We had a cheeky little snog. He groped my boob. He said that he was going for my shoulder… I laughed. It was so… romantic. We spent the rest of the afternoon sipping sparkling wine, holding hands, gazing into each other’s eyes… and giggling… because he’d groped my boob

An undisclosed number of weeks later, I arrived at my husband’s apartment for dinner. That’s what he thought anyway. I had other plans. If he had known what was on my mind he probably wouldn’t have spent so long preparing such an impressive meal.

Seriously, Mum… if you’re still reading… STEP AWAY FROM THE IPAD…

I made my move. He responded, with enthusiasm. We moved somewhere “more comfortable”. We got to know each other better. It got pretty steamy. It was good. And we never did eat that meal.

In the early months of our relationship we spent a considerable amount of time in the bedroom (and occasionally, the kitchen floor). We were frequently late for social appointments. We were inseparable. We were insatiable. We were… at it…like bunnies.

Those were the days. Before we had children. When sex was spontaneous. When we (pretty much) always felt like it. When it was effortless. The sad, sad truth is that our sex life has become a little...what’s the word?... Dull? Sparse? Pathetic?

It’s just that… we’re so bloody tired. We pushing three years of pretty serious sleep deprivation, and despite our best efforts to get it on, all we really want to do is nod off. Sleep is our highest priority and as a result our once highly active sex life has slowed down, put its feet up, draped a blanket rounds its weary shoulders and got stuck into a mug of cocoa.

I know (hope) this is just a phase. One day in the not to distant future (please, god) we will rekindle the passion of those early months. But in the meantime, we’re having an early night… we’ll get cosy under the covers, we’ll share a little kiss… and before we know it… we’ll be… fast… asleep. 



Digital Parents Blog Carnival

41 comments:

  1. Hysterical!! So honest and bang on the money.
    I really hope somebody comes along reads this and leaves a comment to tell us it isn't forever.... just hopefully not your Mum!!

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    1. Some folk on twitter tell me it gets better when you have teenagers! so only 12 years to go! :-)

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  2. Good luck Catherine! It does come back... believe me. ;)

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  3. Love it, Catherine! I think there will be an awful lot of women out there smiling and nodding in agreement when they read this. I remember those early days with my husband too but nowadays I'd much rather go to sleep and dream about them than do anything about it. :)

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  4. Fun post - loved the public boob grope on the first date.

    I don't know a single couple of young children who is still steaming it up like they "used to". Maybe we'll never get it back, maybe we will. I guess the main thing is that both partners feel the same way and then it's all okay. x

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    1. Hubby still claims that the boob grope was accidental.. I still think its funny :-)

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  5. we are getting there slowly! But the sleep deprivation is a passion killer. Goodluck and love the honesty!

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  6. Haha oh so true! We started going to bed earlier so we'd still fit in some 'special cuddles' before it got too late but that just meant we went to sleep earlier (without the sex!)
    Oh how times have changed! I look back on those days and wonder how I'll ever find the energy and time for our sex life to be like that again!!
    Great post xxx

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  7. I am reading and nodding... :) I hope it comes back at some stage, I know my hubby is desperately wanting it to come back and soon! ;)

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  8. What a giggle. He touched your boob! I hope ours comes back too.

    Hi Mrs Tea Cup.

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  9. I love the mention of the kitchen - you guys!!!! ha ha ha

    So many of us are going through the "drought" stage of life. It'll get better, once you're not so tired. But sometimes even when you're tired you've just got to go for it!!

    Bxx

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  10. Great story. I think the fact you started so hot and heavy bodes very well for its return. I guess it's never as full on as in those early days, but you have very good foundations :) And you probably don't have to wait till teen years - just when the little ones start sleeping better and you can feel semi-human again. Primary school :)

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  11. He he he. I love that you shared this with us.

    xxoo

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  12. Such a cute post. Thanks for sharing this. When you're sleep deprived, sleep becomes more important than ANYTHING! :)

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  13. So true, so true-- when you are short on sleep, any time spent in bed is spent snoring! Loved your candor!

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  14. I love this post! Being single, sex is something I totally miss. But I know exactly what you're talking about with it dying off a bit post kids. Love your post! Chrissie xx

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  15. That's gorgeous! My story is the same - all passion has been replaced by the love of sleep! Unfortunately I don't think it spontaneously comes back , it becomes something you have to put effort into. I guess you have to make it special in other ways. Not that I can preach right now! Thanks for linking up for Flash Blog Friday :-)

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  16. definitely worth the cash for a baby sitter! consistently! any relationship or any worthwhile anything takes effort. You are forgetting what youre missing! date nights with the man you love!! don't settle for the trap the media wants us to believe. Marriage does not have to be that way. Its worth your time.

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  17. Came over from the blog hop and I am so happy that I did. Great post, and before you know it, your kids will be grown and you will have more time on your hands than you know what to do with. In a way, it's bittersweet, because then, you are going to miss your babies being babies. I know I do.

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  18. I know my hubby is hoping it is just a phase lol and me too I guess! Love the boob grope - hilarious! xx

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  19. oOo what a fabulous story!!! love love love it!! And yes we hope your mother doesn't read this one :P

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    1. Had a text from my mum to say that she had read it and was so happy for me that i'd found true love!

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    2. hahaha! Great post ... but I was reading through all the comments just to see if your Mum had read it :).

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  20. It definitely comes back & can be even better! Take it in your hands just like you did that first time...make your move. Tired or not it will be worth it :) Found you through the Friday blog hop.

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  21. Really enjoyed reading this. I feel your pain. We just had our 2nd child and I'm exhausted! Trying to keep the intimacy alive but it is a challenge. My husband has a hard time understanding why things aren't the same as when we first started dating and had sex multiple times a day. It will never be like that again but hopefully we will get back to an acceptable level of intimacy soon enough.
    I know that other couples have the same challenge but it's not talked about very openly so it's nice to read your post and feel like I'm not alone!

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  22. I TOTALLY am having the same problem:/ We just came back from a 5 day vaca sans baby and it helped A LOT, but now that we are home we are going into a pretty dry spell...Stopping by from the blog hop! Am now a new follower:) Would love if you could follow me back!

    http://crazy-mama-drama.blogspot.com/
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Crazy-Mama-Drama/259491484156846
    https://twitter.com/LoveMyMamaDrama

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  23. Haha! This is endearing and hilarious. It was an exciting start to your relationship. I think if you're really for each other, the "courtship" is not that important anymore. You have the rest of your lives to be with each other and know each other. :)

    Found you in blog hop amd followed you in Twitter!

    Jen
    whyyyjen.blogspot.com

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  24. Love, love, love this!!! I feel your "lack of" but as the kids SLOWLY get older, it gets better :) Thanks for joining up with us (and yes, I am just now having a moment to catch up on some reading!)

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  25. So true!!!! That sounds like me and mine!!! But I've gone for so long without a "good time" I can't remember what that was like....

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  26. This made me laugh - very true. At the moment I would willingly give up everything and anything for an extra hours sleep!

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  27. This was great! I know as a mom I'd give up a lot for some more sleep and spontaneous anything doesn't happen very often thanks to the 3 little people we have at home! New follower via the TGIF hop!

    Emily
    http://birthofamom.blogspot.com

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  28. What a wonderful post Catherine!! Yeah I know what you mean, sleep is so important whenever you get a spare moment. But fear not in a few years you'll be swapping champagne for cocoa and rolling around on the kitchen floor once again!!

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  29. Hi, I enjoyed reading your post - I can totally relate and I only have one child - reading it I was reminded of some good memories of times gone by, lets hope those memories become a reality again soon (one day).

    S
    disorganisedfamilylove@blogspot.com.au

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  30. All I could think of was.. that impressive meal. Someone cooked for you and you let it go to waste? How sad am I?

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  31. Love this. Clicked through because for some reason I couldn't read any of the more recent posts. But hey, droughts don't break with a trickle. They break with a downpour. So you've got that to look forward to. x

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  32. Haha, great post!! I love your honesty and you never disappoint. Rachel xxx

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