I thought about it for a while over a nice hot cup of tea and have concluded that all of my wildest Christmas wishes can come true with the delivery of just one gift… the TARDIS.
For anyone not familiar with Doctor Who, the TARDIS (Time and Relative Dimension in Space) can travel through time and space and has plenty of room for passengers.
If I were able to take possession of the TARDIS for Christmas I wouldn’t waste a second! The first thing I would do is pop in, take a four to five hour nap and then pop out again to find my children exactly where I left them, believing that Mummy had only disappeared for a few minutes.
Having re-charged my batteries I’d whisk the kids into the TARDIS and let them go wild, surprise my husband at work and then jet off for a family adventure. Perhaps we would visit the moon and observe our beautiful blue planet. We could chuck a right at the Milkyway and head off into dark space, meet aliens and invite them in for tea (Possibly. If they looked like friendly aliens).
Next on the agenda would be Christmas Day at my mother's house. I’d fetch my sister and step siblings on the way so that we could all enjoy Christmas dinner together for the first time in five years. I expect that with six additional family members in the form of young children, the celebrations would be somewhat different from the last time we were all together. It would certainly be noisier.
My girls could play games with their cousins and I’d cuddle my nephews and have a conversation with the sister in law I’ve yet to meet. We would feast on turkey and the best roast potatoes known to man. There would be crackers and paper hats and terrible jokes that make me laugh because I have a terrible sense of humour.
We would raise our glasses to absent friends and I’d think of my Dad and tears would prick the back of my eyes, but I wouldn’t cry, I’d sip my wine and be grateful for my family.
Later, as the children slept (after a bedtime story with the dinosaurs… what’s the point in having the TARDIS if you’re not going to check those guys out, eh?) all the men folk would drink whiskey and my sisters and I would get stuck into the wine and the Christmas cake. We would watch a bit of telly and feel thoroughly pickled and content.
I would travel the country collecting my closest friends, whom I haven’t seen for years but love like they’re family. We’d travel back in time and attend the best parties the world can offer. We’d talk and laugh and dance. Oh how we’d dance! And with achy feet and lost voices I’d return them home in time for breakfast and they would wonder if it was something they dreamt.
Finally, we would travel back through the years, to see my father. He would be surprised to see his daughters all grown up but would wrap us in his arms all the same. He would entertain his grandchildren with tales of safari and just for the hell of it we would jump in the TARDIS and show them the very lions he pretended to fight. He would laugh with his son in laws and gently tease them in his carefree way and we would know that he approved our choices.
We would watch the African sun melt onto the plains and raise glasses of cold beer to the sky.
That’s all I want for Christmas.
Oh. And perhaps a couple of hours with David Tenant*?
* whom, after some hasty negotiations with my Husband has become my second celebrity free pass.
Now, without further ado, I'd like to pass this challenge on to: