To my darling G, on your 3rd birthday.
You were placed on my chest and I wrapped my arms around you. Through the euphoric haze I saw your eyes, blinking in the light as if you’d just woken from a deep sleep. I remember noticing your eyelashes, so dark and long. I remember being amazed by them. As if it hadn’t occurred to me that a baby would have them.
You were a beautiful baby. I know I have to say that because I’m your mum, but you were. Your dad and I spent many hours in those early days just gazing at you, overwhelmed that we had created such a gorgeous little creature.
We didn’t have a clue what we were doing. You spent the first 24 hours of your life with your nappy on back to front and wrapped up like an over stuffed burrito. I sat up most of the first night, afraid to close my eyes. You smiled in your sleep and I felt a surge of love jolt through me. I’ll never forget that moment, that’s when I really got it. I was a mother.
You were always a bit of a pickle. You started rolling pretty early and delighted in travelling across the room to explore new territory away from your play mat. As soon as you were mobile you followed me around ‘helping’ and would happily wreck the house if I turned my back for a few minutes.
You ran before you walked and as your little sister grew in my tummy you had me chasing you around the park, up climbing frames and over rope bridges. Every day you would use up every single bit of energy you had with non-stop-action from the moment you woke till the moment you slept.
People have called you ‘a character’, exuberant, energetic, spirited and wild. You are full of beans, that’s for sure. I wish I’d had a dollar for every well meaning old lady that remarked ‘you’ve got your hands full dear!’
I love the way you talk and the way that you play and the way that you say hello to every person you meet in the street. I love the feeling of your little hand in mine and your arms around my neck. I love the sound of your laughter, especially when you laugh in unison with little C.
Sometimes you rile against me. You fight with your sister. You disobey. I shout and scold. And you look at me with your big beautiful eyes defiant and I know that I’ve failed you.
You are not a naughty girl. You are curious, you are adventures and your desire to explore the world overrides any inclination to slow down! And whilst it would be nice if you listened to me now and then, I’m so bloody proud of who you are.
Don’t ever change, G.
I love you just the way you are.
With so much love,